bad driving = florida residents

ok, so you all know that i have vented my frustrations before about the drivers here in the sunshine state. well low and behold, dave berry is on my side! for those of you who aren't familiar with the hilarious columnist who writes for the Miami Herold, dave berry will have you bent over in pain from laughing so hard. (I think the ladies in the gift shop are concerned for my health as well as the baby's health wondering what in the world i'm on....they kept looking at me because i couldn't stop laughing!) Not only does he comment about the driving absurdity that has cursed this state, but he also commented on my latest frustration - TSA Airport Security. January through March i spent many long, frustrating hours fighting long lines, large crowds, rude people, and airport security. being stopped at the security checkpoint almost never failed. here i am....a blonde haired, blue eyed, average built, protestant woman who is nicely dressed....very far from fitting the terrorist profile! my mother always told us growing up to dress well when traveling in airports. Living overseas, I guess she thought that if you were dressed well, you wouldn't be stopped. well, that is not true! Anyways, those traveling stories will be kept for another day. back to dave berry.

here is his latest column:

Bad driving: It's not just for old people
Posted on Mon, Apr. 28, 2008
By DAVE BARRY

MIAMI HERALD FILE, 2003

A man stands in front of his car, as hundreds of cars are stuck in a South Florida traffic nightmare.
Blog Dave Barry

The other day, The Miami Herald ran a story concerning a 73-year-old motorist who was stopped by police.
This in itself is not remarkable. The streets of Miami-Dade County are teeming with motorists who should be stopped by police.
But this man was not driving on the streets.
He was driving on a runway at Miami International Airport.
Really. According to the story, the man ''burst through the southeast gate'' in his Chevrolet Cobalt and ``drove down runway 9.''
You will be relieved to learn that the police don't think he was a terrorist. Apparently he was just a driver who, like so many older drivers down here, got confused. Chances are that, even if the police hadn't stopped him, once he saw a 757 taxiing toward him, it would have dawned on him that he wasn't on Le Jeune Road.
Although not necessarily.
You have to wonder about the security at Miami International. I, personally, have had my shampoo and my toothpaste confiscated at MIA because they were in containers larger than three ounces. If I can't get near an airplane with personal hygiene products, how did this guy get through with a CAR?
But this incident raises a larger question in my mind, one that has been nagging at me lately: Are the drivers down here getting worse?
You're thinking, ''They can't get any worse!'' I used to think that, but lately I'm not so sure. For example, the other night I was driving on the Palmetto Expressway. (I know, I know.) Normally, on the Palmetto, traffic moves at an average speed of 53 miles per hour, calculated as follows:
• 49 percent of the drivers are going 80 miles per hour.
• 49 percent of the drivers are going 30 miles per hour.
• 2 percent of the drivers are, for a variety of reasons, backing up.
But the other night, there was a fourth group of drivers out there: Young male idiots racing each other in cars traveling at -- this is a very conservative estimate -- the speed of light. It was terrifying. You're flowing along with the traffic, going either 80 or 30 miles an hour, and suddenly you see lights in your rearview mirror and, ZIPPPPPP, this weaving blur hurtles past and cuts you off, and while the swear word is still forming in your brain, ZIPPPPPP, another one cuts you off, and then ZIPPPPPP ZIPPPPPP ZIPPPPPP, more of them, using the Palmetto Expressway as their own personal video game, with you playing the role of Annoying Obstacle. It's no use honking your horn at the idiots because the sound waves can't catch them.
If you're wondering how I could tell, at night, that these particular blurs were young males, the answer is: because that's who drives that way. That's how I would have driven when I was a young male idiot, except that I was driving my mom's 1961 Plymouth Valiant, which had basically the same top speed as the Lincoln Memorial.
But today's young male idiots are equipped with much better automotive technology, and they're out there on the same streets as the confused older drivers (of which I am rapidly becoming one). To make matters worse, a new driving hazard is popping up all around Miami-Dade: the traffic circle.
Traffic circles are a good thing, if drivers understand the rules. But this is Miami, where drivers find the concept of ''yield'' to be more baffling than quantum physics. Some drivers barge into the circle regardless of whether there are cars already in it. Other drivers come to a full stop, even when the circle is empty, eyeing it warily, as if it were a space/time warp that might suck them into another dimension. Still others barge into the circle and THEN stop. (It goes without saying that these same drivers would never dream of stopping at, for example, a stop sign.)
Anyway, my opinion, as a person who has been driving down here for more than 20 years, is that the roads are getting worse. What can we do about this? Several solutions come to mind:
• Young males should be issued restricted licenses that allow them to drive only during certain times, namely, the distant future. If that's illegal, we should require them to drive 1961 Valiants.
• Likewise, older motorists unable to pass a simple test (''Where are you?'') would be restricted to driving in the past.
• Miami International Airport should take some security people off Shampoo Patrol and have them guard the gates.
• Just in case, they should also put signs at the ends of the runways saying ``NOT LE JEUNE ROAD.''
I don't have a solution for the traffic circles. Your best bet is to avoid them. If you find yourself in one, close your eyes. That's what everybody else is doing.
I realize this rant has been pretty negative, so I want to end with this thought: I truly believe that we, the drivers of Miami, can do better. I believe that our streets could be safe -- even pleasant -- if we were willing to take our responsibilities as drivers seriously, and to show each other a little basic courtesy.
In other words, we're doomed.

dave berry is optimistic that the florida drivers can do better....i'm not so sure. however i do believe in miracles!

Good Old Fashioned Pancakes

I think I have finally found my new craving. Odd I know, but they are amazing! I found this recipe on allrecipes.com and they are by far the best pancakes that have ever touched my taste buds. So being the nice person I am, I thought I would share the goodness:

Good Old Fashioned Pancakes

"This is a great recipe that I found in my Grandma's recipe book. Judging from the weathered look of this recipe card, this was a family favorite.

PREP TIME	5 Min
COOK TIME	15 Min
READY IN	20 Min

INGREDIENTS

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon white sugar
• 1 1/4 cups milk
• 1 egg
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.
2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

my new friend

i just couldn't bite the bullet and buy one of those pregnancy body pillows, so today while in target i saved (jared, you may thank me later) $80 and bought your everyday body pillow who i believe is going to be my new best friend. my little pillow between my knees just wasn't doing the trick anymore. after visiting the doctor, i heeded their advice and came home and slept...sleep i didn't realize was much needed. while snuggled in bed with lulu, callie, and my pillow, i woke feeling a little more rested....but still kinda green.

after being sick for 4 days, i realized something just wasn't right, so i made an appointment to make sure everything was ok. good news: what i thought was morning sickness was actually a stomach virus....however no promises that i won't still have morning sickness. i was able to hear the heartbeat again today...along with come crazy "swooshing" noises. The doctor said the baby was being a lively little thing....hopefully baby will get all it's rambunctiousness out of it's system before it greets the world! I can just see it now.....

i think i have also decided i need to look for a new doctor. my doctors are all nice, but that's about as deep as it gets...cordial. I feel like when i call to make an appointment for something that could be serious, i am being an annoying inconvenience. quite frankly, i think i am one of their easiest patients! i have yet to call and ask a question...isn't that what google is for? I mean, I could be calling daily or walking in with a list of questions asking, "i had a sweet tea, is my baby going to now be ADHD?" I sit in the waiting room for 30 min. only to be in the examining room for 5-10 min, at most. I feel like i'm apart of a cattle herd when i go in there. i just think it's important to feel comfortable with the person that is going to deliver your baby. Not to mention, that is a little more up close and personal then I would like!

Jared and I move in 2 weeks. we still haven't found a house, so in the meantime we are moving to the beach and are going to be living in a townhome until we find a house that gives us the "warm fuzzies" and is just right!

green...not my favorite color

i am officially 12 weeks. perhaps under different circumstances i might be rejoicing for various reasons:

A. no more morning sickness

B. i can officially announce that we are having a baby...yes i know, i broke the rule!

C. i shouldn't have to frequent the bathroom as often (especially in the middle of the night....it seriously is messing with my sleeping habits!)...for the time being

D. more energy! for the past 12 weeks i have felt as though i have ran a 5k marathon daily. it's as if i need tooth picks to keep my eye lids propped open!

E. i can now take medicine for the ridiculous allergies the weather and this baby have caused

however, i am frustrated and quite irritated! since friday i have felt like i was hit my a 5 ton truck after a night of binge drinking. i suppose i jinxed myself because for awhile i began to think, "man i'm doing pretty well! i'm pulling this pregnancy thing off almost in an effortless manner....i think i have this down pat!" yes, yes, go ahead and just say it, "oh you naive and ignorant child....just wait 4 more months and then see if you feel the same way." being 12 weeks pregnant, in my mind, almost seemed comparable to a senior in highschool. you know, once you're a senior you can do certain things and you have certain freedoms....privileges i stated above. well i am here to tell you at 12 weeks, those supposed freedoms and privileges are all lies! i have felt the worst in the past 3 days then i have my entire pregnancy! for those of you who have never had the privilege and joy of sitting sprawled out on a public bathroom floor with your head in a toilet....let me just tell you once and for all...it is no walk in the park! note to those who use public restrooms: the little paper toilet seat covers that are usually located on the walls are there for a reason....please use them....and if not for any other reason other than the fact that there might be a nauseated, waddling pregnant lady with hot flashes coming in after you! i hope i never again have to experience the horrid things i had to wipe off that toilet seat!

amidst all my nauseous adversity, i still have high hopes that "this to shall pass." only problem is...i can now add intense dizziness to my list.

But don't look now (though — considering the symptom — maybe you should), there's a new one added to the mix: dizziness. And guess who's to blame? Yup — it's your old friend progesterone again, which causes your blood vessels to relax and widen, increasing the flow of blood to your baby (again, good for baby), but slowing the return of blood to you (as always, not so good for mom). Less blood flow to you means lower blood pressure and reduced blood flow to your brain. All of these can contribute to that light-headed, dizzy feeling — especially when you get up too quickly — which is why slow and steady wins the race against dizziness.

great. thank you. last time i checked, i didn't have a friend with the name progesterone. as if hot flashes, memory loss, digestion problems, nausea, exhaustion, etc. weren't enough, we have to add dizziness to the ongoing list of misery. i have never been a server for the very reason of being accident prone. dizziness for one who trips over their own two feet on a daily basis can only lead to complete and utter devastation. i'll let you know how that works out!

only 6 more months until baby "plum" arrives but until then, i have lulu to snuggle with!

"no, no, bad dog"

caught in the act my little friend! as much as i love this little thing, we have finally arrived at a fork in the road. it's either no dog or no underwear! ok, maybe that is being a little over the top, but lulu has chewed holes in over 15 pairs of my underwear! I'm sorry, but this just isn't acceptable! these days, an investment in underwear is practically a small fortune! i am so tired of coming home only to find 2 or more holey pairs of underwear sitting in her bed. Note: lulu's bed has yet to be slept in....it is her personal toy box instead. Jared tells me that's what I get for leaving them around....but "oh contrare," it doesn't matter if they are in the dirty hamper, on the floor, or in the clean laundry basket, she still finds a way to rip them to shreds. for every pair she chews up, i might just attach them to her collar and see how she likes having them tag along with her all day! i may be a push over at times, but when you chew up over half of my underwear drawer, i am a force to be reckoned with! you have to draw the line somewhere and this little lady has done crossed that line! Not to mention she has chewed up 2 pairs of my shoes....and ripped poor haley's flip flops to shreds!

But then I see this and I can't get over how precious they both are.....what was I upset over again??

I supposed this is yet another one of God's patience training 101 courses. I guess i have yet to pass.

If anyone has any puppy training advise, I am more than willing to listen.

where are my pancakes?!?

it is after 10 PM on a sunday night and for most people they are winding down for the night getting ready for another week. i on the other hand have been craving pancakes for the past 2 hours. so here you have it....jared and i just finished watching Dan in Real Life and in the movie they were making pancakes. that is all it took....so now my darling husband is in the kitchen making pancakes. of course we don't have the pancakes in a box, so he is making them from scratch...hence the laptop in the kitchen. all day i have have been having cravings and each time we haven't had anything in the house...so jared has already make 2 trips, one for a greek salad and another for milk, and orange juice. i don't know what my deal is but i cant seem to drink enough milk and oj.....and when it's gone, i just about have a panic attack! anyways, as sweet as jared is, there was a catch....i had to finished putting all the laundry away. and well, my job is completed and so i wait on my pancakes...

Thursday jared and i went to the doctor and when the nurse asked me to get on the scale......i hesitated...and then took off everything i possibly could,shoes, jacket, bracelet and all, to ensure that the nurse was getting as accurate weight. i was very convinced the scale was going to read that i had put on 10 pounds in just 4 weeks. Jokingly, i said that to the nurse trying to make the truthful blow that was soon to take a hit a little softer. when i heard the nurse mention that i have only put on a total of 3 1/2 pounds during my pregnancy, i think my heart skipped a beat. for all the food i consume on a daily basis, this baby must consume 90% of it....or it could be all the liquids and frequent bathroom trips. whatever it may be, all i have to say is "thank you Jesus!!"

our doctor visit as a whole was exciting as we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time. as i heard the tiny, fast beating little heart, i feel deeply in love with someone i have never seen and i could feel the smile on my face begining to glow. to think something so small and only 11 weeks old could have such a strong heartbeat is such a miracle. you always wonder what it is going to be like to heart your baby's heart beach for the first time. I didn't cry....until later. while in my car, the song fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis Chapman came on

I can see the fingerprints of god
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of god
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of god

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by gods hand
And perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what hes been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living breathing priceless work of art

the baby's heart was beating 162 beats per minute.....i told jared that all the signs are pointing to the possibility of a little girl. jared might be purchasing those sparkle passifiers sooner than he would like! we will hopefully know at our next appointment.

off i go to enjoy my much anticipated pancakes and orange juice!!