blue is for boy

i wanted to write with my last post, but time got the best of me and this is my first chance i have had to sit down.

this weekend i had two wedding. i don't think they could have been more opposite! yesterday's wedding was wonderful! I have come to realize that there are many things in life that are stressful and a lot of work, but in the end, it was worth it all. which brings me to my next topic...

no longer is our baby an "it" or referred to as "the baby"...it's our little boy, brayden harter knetzer.

this past wednesday was a very monumental day. i truly believe that i was more nervous that day then i was on my own wedding day...a day in which i didn't have a care in the world! Jared and I woke up that morning (i in the bed and him on the couch) and headed to destin. our first stop was to the chiropractor's office to fix my back problem. i have always had back pain, but since being pregnant, brayden has revealed a new side of pain i never knew before! after a much needed adjustment, we had some time to kill so we wasted time and went into stores to look at baby stuff we knew we couldn't buy for another 3 hours.

3 hours came and went and it was time to head to the doctor....our new doctor. as many of you already know and have probably had a good laugh....jared and i were almost..or were convinced that we were having a little girl. growing up, all my life i thought i would be the one to have all girls. boys were a foreign object in which i knew nothing about. the thought of having a boy crossed my mind too many times to count, but i just figured it was a figment of my imagination. on our way into the hospital, i had a real feeling that the nurse was going to tell us that we were having a boy. on our way through the door holding hands, jared turns to me and asks, "if they say we're having a boy, are you going to cry?" Shocked and a bit bothered by the question, i replied, "of course not! I'll be very shocked and surprised, but i'll be very excited!" so on up we went to office 310.

sitting in the waiting room my breathing began to get heavier with anxiety and then they called my name. I climbed onto the table and on they squeezed that warm jelly stuff which feels a little strange. there on the screen was our baby. unlike our first ultrasound, you could see it's little nose, mouth, and ears. as the nurse measured everything, everything was perfect. our baby was healthy and growing! the nurse kept referring to the baby as a "he" and you would think i would've caught on! then she moved the screen and pointed as if i knew what she was pointing at. everything on the screen looks about the same to me. and then she said....

"congratulations, you're having a little boy!"

jared and i both looked at each other and burst out laughing. we couldn't believe it! as i turned to look back at the screen, there he was, my little boy. no longer was it just a baby but it was a little person. a little boy person who now had a name, brayden. as i continued to admire, tears began streaming down my face. tears of joy and yet uncertainty. my mind began to become flooded with a rush of thoughts, "how in the world do you potty train a little boy?", " i don't want to raise a mama's boy!", "does this mean that when i go to change him, he's going to pee all over me??", "i don't want everything to be blue, animals, and sports!" For the first time, i began to panic just a bit because i was about to venture into the unknown...another journey God was about to sent me on...but i couldn't be more excited!! i was falling more in love than before!

leaving the doctor's office on we went to buy little boy things. in the car was another "big" moment. for the first time i felt our little boy moving around. not only did i see him that day, but i felt him too.

everything at that moment became surreal. we were really having a baby...a baby boy!


i think brayden and i are now off to go shopping now for him!

brayden harter knetzer

the young and the restless

tomorrow puts me at exactly 18 weeks. where has the time gone!! jared and i found out on valentine's day and i was only 4 weeks at the time...and that seems like yesterday! not only has time flown by, but it is official...the baby bump has arrived.

i finally popped like a well done turkey about a week ago and it is only getting bigger. and should you find me after a filling meal, you might think im further along than i really am. i still have yet to determin the difference between gas bubble and the baby moving. i know, that may sound rather odd, but the baby is still little so there isn't any substantial kicking yet. who knows, i haven't given up on the potential of a little soccer star just yet. however, i am throughly convinced that my little young is keeping me up at night....hence jared taking up his residency on the couch at night. don't think awful thoughts of me just yet...he actually likes (and as of lately prefers) the couch.

it all began one night when i returned to bed after getting up to use the bathroom for the 5th time that night and blowing my nose. they say that your nose may tend to run a bit when pregnant...that is a very misleading understatement for those who suffer from allergies as well. my nose runs like niagara falls at night. a few seconds later, jared sits straight up in bed and insists that he has no room in the bed and can't sleep (mind you jared is a bed hog..so much to the point that my growing belly is about to plop over the edge and i have no room to stretch my calves which feel like they are being attacked by switch blades aka leg cramps). so not having much sympathy for him or really any at all, i tell him to get his pillow and start making his way downstairs...and on the couch is where he has remained since. i can't wait for our new bed to finally arrive! i really do miss my sleeping buddy!

well wednesday marks one of the most important days! we find out if we're having a boy or girl! we will either be proved correct in our prediction...or proved to be horribly wrong!! we will soon find out!

cinderella

(if the video doesn't work here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLYxtuC0oRk )songs about a daddy and his little girl have always pulled at the strings of my heart. no matter how hard i try to hold back the tears, i am never strong enough. a couple of weeks ago i was in my car listening to xm radio when this song came on for the first time. it only took a few seconds before the flood gates opened and the tears were flowing out at full force. thankfully i came up to a red light because i was crying so hard i could barely see out my front window. this time however was different than times before. for the first time i wasn't looking at myself dancing in the arms of my own daddy, but my little girl dancing in the arms of her daddy.

ready to get rowdy

after posting that last blog, i realized i need to pull myself together and start getting things in order with the baby only being 5 months away. Until we find out what we're having, i can't really do a whole lot as far as the nursery, clothes, decor, etc. there is one thing i can (well perhaps) make a decision on. i don't know why, but i am determined to find the most useful, realistic, durable, and most importantly chic baby bag out there. If there is one thing i have been on a hunt for, it is just that! for those of you who know me, you know i love purses/bags! They are the perfect accessory to any outfit and you can never grow out of it! jared thinks i'm crazy, but i said that i am more than willing to pay a high price for the perfect baby bag as long as it meets the following standards:

1. it can't actually look like a baby bag, because i will be using it as my purse as well
2. it has to be sophisticated and chic
   
3. no figurines on it (animals, insects, characters, etc.)
4. it has to be a fairly good size, because there is going to be A LOT that goes in there
5. it has to have a lot of pockets
   
6. it has to be easy to carry
7. it has to be able to coordinate with most everything (i know you probably think i'm being ridiculous, but i'm totally being serious about this baby bag!)
8. it has to be for a girl or a boy (if i should get one before i find out)

so with those requirements set in stone, i set out to find the one. i began getting frustrated when i wasn't finding "the one" as soon as i laid eyes on it. so yesterday i thought i would give it another shot....and lets just say, i think i fell in love. not right away though. the longer i gazed at the picture and read as many review as possible, that's when it hit me..."i think this is the one!" let's recap shall we?


Rowdy white sophisticated bowler

1. it doesn't resemble a your typical baby bag
2. the name of the bag actually contains the word sophisticated in it, i couldn't ask for more!
   
3. it doesn't contain any cheesy characters or animals
4. it's big enough to hold everything i could possibly need
5. it has tons of pockets, inside and out
6. there is more than one way to hold the bag
7. it's white so it will go with anything
8. it's a unisex bag

well my friends...mission accomplished!

running on e

it has taken me quite some time to muster up the energy to write again....or actually, if i'm telling the truth, anything for that matter. i have never had any desire to do drugs, but if i had to imagine what you would feel like afterwards, i'm pretty sure it is how i feel right now.

for the past month or so, "i don't care," is the phrase that seems to roll right off my tongue. i seriously feel like a deadbeat! the only time i think my brain actually functions somewhat is when i am at work answering 10101759827598 phone calls and emails ranging from questions consisting of "what is the best make-up to cover my tattoos?" "what type of birds are those flying over the bay?" to "what is the exact cost of 21 lilac table cloths that are going to cover a 66" table, 210 chair ties, and 210 chair covers? is there a way to keep all that but make it fit within my budget?" Don't worry....those questions don't even scratch the surface. I'm like that dazed and confused image of someone with a blank stare on their face as the world continues to fly by.

i think jared has just given up on asking me questions, because he already knows what my response will be....for example:
Jared - don't you think it's time to do laundry and the dishes?"
Me - i don't care
Jared - would you like to drive by and see the townhouse before we move in?
Me - i don't care
Jared - do you think you can unpack a few boxes since you're off today....that way we don't have boxes everywhere? Me - i don't care

you would think this extreme apathetic attitude wouldn't carry over into other areas, such as baby related issues. sad to say, but it has! people ask me questions like, so "what are you planning to do for the nursery," and "where would you like to have your baby shower," and it's the same response! I seriously don't know what my problem is! i think i have just had so much going on over the past 4 months that my brain and body have hit severe over-load.

no worries though, there are a few things that i have a very strong opinion about. i am at the point where i can not take sleeping in a queen size bed anymore! i have never been a claustrophobic person until recently. Last night, was the perfect example. Every night this week, i have been falling asleep on the couch very comfortably at 9:00 PM and at about 10:00 PM, jared and I usually make our way to bed and in a few minutes i am out like a light....that is until i wake up to Lulu (who mind you is not really a dog but a miniature person) is sleeping sprawled out on my pillow, jared on my right who has all the covers and snoring as if no one in the world can hear him, my body pillow on my left which i need to move to the right because my sciatic nerve is shooting down my back side but can't because THERE IS NO ROOM! so in a state of emergency, i did what i do best - hit jared until he stopped snoring and moved over...while still sound asleep. My next move, I bought a california king size mattress. 12 layers of Heaven and heaven it will be when i can get a good nights rest and not have to touch anyone!

maybe my energy and motivation will find it's way back home...where it belongs after a little r&r. jared and i finally find out what we are having may 22nd, so maybe that is what i need to start moving forward. less than 3 weeks!! I will post the infamous "baby bump" picture soon, but you all have to understand that i have to be in the right frame of mind to do that....right now not only is my brain mush, but i feel like an over sized blob!

soon, i promise.....