blue light special

today was the big day. i headed to ft. walton this morning to go see my chiropractor in need of desperate help. after falling onto the dj at the wedding i was doing sunday, i knew that was the final straw...it was time to go see the doctor again. i swear...i looked like an 80 year old woman hobbling around this weekend! after my physical revival, i got in my car to head home. first off let me explain that the drive between destin and panama city is a straight shot with ridiculously fluctuating speed limits! so there i am driving along with my sunroof open and singing my little heart out to songs on the radio. out of no where, came these flashing blue lights flying across the median leaving dirt clouds in his tracks. i knew right then he was coming after me....i didn't realize i was speeding, but since i was the only car in sight, i knew it had to be me and there was no way of escaping this one! so having watched more COP shows than i would like to admit, i kindly pulled over before he even pulled up behind me. being that this was my first time, i always wondered if i would try and come up with some reason as to why i was speeding. nope, there i sat with my license and registration in had waiting. and waiting. you know, i think they make you sit there just to intimidate you! when he got to my window i held out what i knew he was going to need before he even asked. goodness at the way i was just "giving in," it probably looked as though this was a common thing! I looked at him unsure if i gave him the correct registration papers and said, "i think those are the most current, but I'm not sure." "well ma'am, yes these are your most current but your tag expired on your husbands birthday, may 25th." way to go jared!!

so there i sat and waited. and waited. my uncle who is an officer said that usually is they are going to let you go, they make you wait a long time just to suffer. so in my suffering, i was hoping that maybe he was going to let me off the hook. i didn't think i would be able to play the pregnancy card since the dress i had on didn't make my belly noticeable. wondering what i might have in my favor i waited a little longer.

"well ma'am, i'm only going to give you a warning for your tag since it is really your husbands fault." smart man....that's exactly what i was thinking! "and i lowered your speed to the lowest possible speed of only going 9 over." what the heck, how fast was i going? the speed limit was at least 55!? "so you only have to pay $82 and if you take the class online you won't have the points go on your record." "office, being that this is the first time i've ever been pulled over, how to i take care of the fine?" i wanted him to know that usually i am a law abiding citizen! "what exactly was the speed limit, becuase last i knew it was 65?" i asked. "well, yes, it was but then it dropped to 45 and i clocked you going 65."

as i took my punishment and he began walking away he turns around and say, "so, when is your due date?" a bit confused, i responded. "congratulations," he replied. "oh yeah right, thanks a lot!!!" i knew i should have played the pregnancy card!!!

so i pulled back on to 98 and no more than 100 feet ahead read a speed limit sign "SPEED LIMIT 65".